A Change in Heart
Soren has been a sweet boy lately, making decisions to cuddle even when he's not tired, to kiss and to give admiring smiles. I can honestly say that I have never wanted him to stay a tiny baby, but now, now I want him to stay in this stage a little longer.
I think of Soren the preteen who is embarrassed by his mom and wants some space, and teenage Soren who is gaining his independence and preparing to leave our home. And worst (in my eyes) of all, is when another girl becomes the center of his life. When that baby comes into your life, you change. I thought I'd be working full-time happily, but I'm attached and the thought of being away from him 50 hours a week scares me.
Soren isn't mine and never will be. He was given to us, a body to nourish and a soul to teach and train. There will come a time when we no longer have a say in what he does, we no longer get priority and I have to be okay with that.
My heart is all in, and before I know it, it will have to loosen its hold. Until then I will enjoy the journey!